Monday, 23 February 2009

Giggling

It woz me birfdee las Fursdie. Bin drunk evry nite since!!! OOh, me poor ed! An tired? Gor blimey, KNACKERED, is more like it!

Ah well, paying for it now, am I not?

So this week will be sensible, my last week on this job and I'm planning sense and sensibility! Will it work, I wonder? It might, it might, always worth a go, if you ask me.

So, Thursday night started off with a delishus meal cooked by my gorgeous fiance, which included cray fish, lots of them. And dessert :o) And sparkling vino, a particular partiality of mine :o)

On Friday a pub crawl was planned with an old friend. True the noise level got a bit too high and so it didn't really turn out to be the revel we had hoped, but still, a good time was had. But it is impossible to talk and get to know one another with a Banshee Wail going on all around, isn't it? Could just be old age talking here of course... After all, am nearly 50 (sob)

Saturday was a one pub visit with lots of friends, had a blast. Excellent fun. Been to the Brisbane Hotel in Beaufort St? It's a BRILLIANT pub, fantastic jazzy funky music and marvellous food. Go there. Now. :o)

Sunday was the Scotch Golf, Johhnie Walker Classic, pretty hot, pretty excellent day, got up a pretty thirst! So when we refreshed ourselves at our local drinking haunt and me birfdee was mentioned, I was once again inundated in sparkling vino! Very hard to say "no" to, and well, here we are again, tiddled!

So, tonight is nothing! Thank goodness! I am orf home to eat and sleep and not one drop of the devils brew will cross my lips!!! I will be entertained in a gentle fashion by Jeremy and wotsis face on Top Gear (in Vietnam tonight and lookin' good!) and no bottles will be opened. Unless it's a bottle of massage oil, that's allowed! On that note, am fairly sure I saw The Stig today, at least he was in a T-shirt that said "I am The Stig" but you can never be sure.....

I am practising of course for the Big 5 0. It will take a lot of practice, I am pretty sure of that! So, I thought I'd get in early. And because I keep thinking of the Big Number (5 aaah! 0 aahhh! It hurts, I can tell you, just thinking of those two numbers next to each other, gives me a pain in the cerebral cortex region ooh! aaahhhh!), 48 doesn't seem so bad :o) So, there is a year of 48 and then another year of 49 and then ......then there had better be a bloody big party, that's what! To ease the pain of transition!

One thing I did learn this weekend, it is NOT a good idea to get drunk on Stella. Well, any beer really. If I got up to go to the loo once in the night I got up five damn times at least! Staggering around drunk, stubbing my toes, looking for the right door with the loo inside it! Jeez! How do the Guys do it? Up and down, up and down, all night long! Strewth. And if anyone (Goffy) mentions any other bodily emissions and giggling, they are done for!!!

As for me, I'm back on the champers darlings! Just NOT tonight, hic.

Friday, 20 February 2009

Alien Technology?



Every time I go to the ATM, I live in hope of it giving me more than I asked for. Preferably, I would like it to spew money out as if it was a winning pokie.


This seems too much to ask for, and a bit greedy, so I hope (and expect really) for an extra note or two because the machine got a bit jammed inside and miscounted the lolly.

Why does this never happen? In this time of malfunctioning everything, why oh why are the cash machines so glitch free? Seriously, why? Do the banks have access to superior workmanship? Is there alien technology inside those suckers? Has anyone done any research on this?

I don’t see how it can be statistically possible for those wretched machines to always give you the right amount of money. Just look at the state of photocopiers for instance. You put a bunch of paper in and what you get out, on a statistically countable number of occasions, at the other end beggars belief, fit for the shredder only. The automatic roller/sucker thingamajig takes in three or four sheets at once, rolls the paper around it’s insides and spits it out at high velocity onto the floor in swatches! You see where I’m going with this? You can see the attraction of this behaviour by cash machines, holes in the wall, automatic get-rich-quick schemes? :o)

There’d be no reason for the government to hand out money for Economy Stimulation Packages, the money could come directly from the horse’s mouth, so to speak, the banks!

Therefore, if the bank machine people and the photocopier people were introduced ….. by a community-minded individual for instance, or the PM himself maybe, we would have a much happier situation going on, everyone would be MUCH happier with their photocopier always running true to form and the ATM’s behaving like photocopiers. Because of course that’s what would happen – a merging of technology always favours the worst bit of kit, surely? I’m sure that’s called “Thank you Mr Murphy Syndrome or “Soddit’s Law of the Universe” or something similar?

So, give me the PM’s addy, I’ll send this on to him :o)

Thursday, 19 February 2009

Toilet humour

Let me just set the scene.....

Long, busy corridor with offices off one side, laboratory doors off the other side. A disabled toilet around the middle of the corridor on the same side as the offices. A toilet that does not have a “foyer” area – you just walk right on in to the business section, so to speak. Picture a large aluminium grill in the middle of the disabled toilet door. All doors have large grills in them for the return air on the air conditioning. This grill is so large that when one person locked themselves out of their office one day, they kicked the grill in and crawled through the hole into their office and unlocked the door from the other side. It’s a security-nightmare type of grill.

Back to the grill in the disabled toilet door. This grill was loose. It had clip fasteners holding it in to the body of the door and to its counterpart on the other side of the door, made out of spring steel. So each grill is actually two grills, connected to each other by tightly sprung, spring steel clips. I had got into the habit, in my role of “fixer”, of knocking the grill back in, whenever I walked past it. Just while I was waiting for the carpenters to rock up and actually fix it properly, you understand? As long as you hold on to both sides of the door at the same time, this works very well and holds the grill together for another couple of weeks before it springs itself out again. On this occasion however, the door was closed, so I knew a good bash on it would pop that sucker right back in. Are you with me on this? Busy corridor, toilet pan on the other side of a door with potentially a very large hole in it? Sigh.

Of course I gave the grill a hefty whack. Of course the clips sprung and the inside grill popped right in and the outside grill popped right out, landing in the corridor with a resounding metallic CRASH! And there was a someone on the pan. Of course. Someone, who no doubt, had been in their own private place, just quietly meditating, the way you do when alone, on the pan, in peace with themselves and the world. The world who now seemed to want to come in and join the party, if indeed, a party there was! Rockin’ rollin’ let’s get this party GOIN’!!!! A resounding SHRIEK rent the air! Sigh.

That was a couple of years ago..... today, I walked in on someone else on the loo, same corridor, different loo. Much friendlier and potentially more intimate.... same volume of SHRIEK though!

Just as well I’m leaving next week, methinks!

Tuesday, 17 February 2009

Ideas needed

There are some very clever people out there, writing the most MARVELLOUS blogs. I love reading them and commenting occasionally.... it does make me feel rather inadequate though and does take my words away.... I have nothing to write, I swear. I am a diarist who writes when anguished. When in deep trauma, I pour out my angst onto the page. When I am happy, as I am right now, there seems nothing to write about and although I am struggling along here, trying to find something that inspires me to put pen to paper (fingers to keys) nothing, but nothing comes to mind. So, that is my excuse for not keeping up with the blog really.

When my marriage fell apart I wrote six complete diaries in six months. I read them again after a year and laughed so hard! Wow! What a blast that was. I might have been in a state of shock and completely traumatised but I was SO FUNNY. I made myself laugh, it was really good, it actually helped a lot, but that was writing for no audience at all, well, maybe I was writing for my ex at one point, and maybe I was writing for posterity at another point, but mainly, I was just letting it all hang out. And that is what writing is for me - therapy. And at the moment, I don't need any. Which is good, obviously, but I am fast turning into a frustrated diarist.

I could go on about the frustrations at work, but that is truly boring and bores me too, I could write about my daughter but nothing is happening there and there is only so much I can speculate without new data to go on, I could soliloquise (yes, checked the spelling on dict.org and it is right!) about the GoffMan, but that would only make everyone sick :o) (is there an emoticon for vomiting? :o), I could write about the fascinating articles I found today on management styles and accident investigation but you know, who'd want to read that? Sigh.

What I need is a good subject. The funny signs I see on the street didn't work out too well, that brought out the god-freaks, so there is another fascinating subject that is apparently taboo. I have thought seriously of scrubbing the blog, but can't quite bear to do that.... too many things on here make ME laugh!

Ideas anyone? I'll just have another glass of bubbly while I wait for inspiration to hit or you to answer with a bright idea. Toodles.

Saturday, 7 February 2009

No more Interviews!

I got the job!

Ha ha! Marvellous! I am really looking forward to this. It will be totally new and different and totally scary! C'est la vie! It comes with a car :o) Sweeeet. Now, I have three more weeks where I am, and then a week off - yes! Beach time! And then, and then, it's in to the New with a vengeance.

Thursday, 5 February 2009

Interviews, interviews!

Oh my word, I have a second interview! Same job but this time "an informal chat" over coffee! It's 3am and I'm awake here! And now my stomach has kicked in and thinks it's time for a meal. My face keeps yawning but my head is not in agreement! The original interview went well, I did not disgrace myself thankfully, and this is looking like a definite possibility, but that makes it all the more nerve wracking, when you can smell the job, it's nearly ever so close.... And then if I get the job, I'll be even MORE nervous than before! It's new, it's different, I've never done it before - ach! ach! I have to go and find some chocolate......

Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Interview

I had an interview today. It was my first one in a number of years. It was very, VERY scary! I was completely wired afterwards and all I could eat was chocolate! It would be a very good job and I would like it a lot. I have to wait two days now before I know whether I was successful or not....fingers crossed then. I am going to concentrate on forgetting all about it so that I don't get my hopes up too high.