Sunday, 25 May 2008

It's those damn hormones!

Oh, this is good then, this is fine and damn dandy! I am 47 and have just developed PMS! How marvelous. I had wondered what was going on, I've had blood tests and allergy tests, I've taken myself off painkillers in case they were the culprits, I darent even SNIFF a slice of bread!

Last night my feet swelled up - hello - what's going on here then? What are those at the ends of my legs, not mine surely? This morning it took me a full 30 minutes to be able to move when I woke up I was SO exhausted! Last week, I would have actually sold my grandmother, if I had one, for a bar of chocolate, we are going way past cravings here now! We are talking grandmothericideal tendencies! Probably certifiable tendencies! Today - and this is what made the penny finally drop for me (combined with the fact that my stomach was resembling a pillow stuffed up my jumper) - someone phoned me about a wetsuit I have advertised for sale. The woman asked me a simple question, the answer to which was actually written in the ad. I did manage to stay civil to her - just - but when I hung up I really let rip! Out loud and in a most vociferous manner! Quite unlike my usual sunny, forgiving self. My son accused me of being grumpy before I'd even opened my mouth.

In the supermarket today, I realised I was standing in front of the biscuits and had been standing in front of the biscuits for approximately 5 minutes. I wasn't even trying to choose between delicious iced vovo's and delightful tim tam's, no, I was in some sort of "dream zone", and it wasn't until I had been bumped into three times by impatient biscuit shoppers that I realised I was still there, in front of something I didnt actually want. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

What is going on? This is not menopause - all is well there, blood tests tell the tale of hale and hearty health, then why, oh why, do I feel the need to GRRRRRRRHOIRURTLAJGOAIRRRRRRRRRYRTGOQ;GOIW!!!!#*#! everywhere? On a regular basis and for hardly any provocation? And why does it feel so damn GOOD!!! Hmmm?

Well, it's those damn hormones isn't it? Good grief! What next I wonder? In the meantime, Ggrrrrrrrrraoitlkajgoaiu*$^&^&@@(JGRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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