Thursday, 14 February 2008
A complete RANT!
Men are very strange creatures. Have I only just discovered this?, I hear you ask; very reasonably, in my opinion. Valentines Day. What a conundrum. What a total mystery. Here is a god-given (Literally, I mean wasn't the guy a saint? No doubt stoned to death for the heinous crime of sending roses to suspected witchs or something? Oh, sorry, Wiki says that St Valentine is the name of SEVERAL martyred saints of Ancient Rome, "... whose names are justly reverenced among men, but whose acts are known only to God." Good grief! Well, I'm possibly right then, rose giving to virgins or some such - anyway, I digress, as usual.) So, here we have this god-given opportunity for the men of the civilised world to legitimately woo and impress and otherwise work towards getting their end away!! A bunch of flowers, a specially booked meal. If they are against the "commercialisation" of martyred saints days - a specially run bath for their loved one, a scented massage maybe? A specially cooked - by them - meal and the odd candle bunged in the middle of the table. At the very least, communication of some sort to let the long-suffering woman in their life know that they have thought of some-one other than themselves for one damn day of the damn year! Gosh, I'm feeling quite strongly about this. I surprise myself. Who would have thought it? And NO, its no bloody good, its too bloody LATE to say "Oh, sorry darling, I forgot, I didn't realise. Oh, you bought ME a card, well, now you've made me feel guilty!"
The number of married men who have said (I've been carrying out a survey today) "Oh no, we dont do all that stuff, its just commercialisation by the flower sellers." Or, "I told my wife years ago that I didn't do that stuff and she's OK with that" Hello! She is NOT OK with that!!!! There is not one woman on this earth who would not be flattered and (surprised probably - unto death in some cases!) and pleased and impressed and feel a surge of love for their boof-head of a spouse who for once in his life did something spontaneous and from the heart and didn't ask first!!!! Or apologise later. My word, what a lot of chumps!
I was out shopping tonight - Thursday - late night shopping - yes, I know this is the 21st century and globalisation is rampant but this is Australia, moreover, it is Western Australia. We have only recently started to shop on Saturday afternoons, god forbid we should even think of shopping on any other night other than Thursday! But I digress, again! Where was I? Oh yes, shopping. I was enjoying myself immensely and purchased myself (my inner child was clamouring and on the verge of a tantrum, so I had to give in!), the most beautiful, soft leather jacket, but, that was not the (whole) reason for my enjoyment tonight. Apart from the extremely cute European salesman who managed to get $50 out of me for hand cream - yes, yes, I know, but boy, was he CUTE!!! And he buffed my nails and he massaged my hands - oh, he was SO beautiful!!!) (Hahahaha - I did say I enjoyed myself immenslely tonight!) Anyway, oh lord, where was I? Men! And trolleys! Trolleys and men pushing them, the most amazing number of laden trolleys being pushed around the shopping centre by the most glum-looking men I have seen in a long while. And I couldn't help but think, and I had to bite my tongue to not let it out, IT SERVES YOU FUCKING RIGHT! You morons! Buy a bunch of flowers and book a meal for once in your miserable life and, maybe, your life wont BE quite so miserable! Have they thought it through do you think? "Duh, either I go out for a meal with my wife tonight or I get to go grocery shopping with her, duh, which should I choose?"
Hmmm, that was quite vitriolic wasn't it? Jolly good show! The perfect end to a perfect day!